God is Good!

Celebrating our baby girl on a very personally meaningful day. Happy 4th of July! Grace and I had an active morning between a long walk and long workout (she napped). Now I am obsessively taking pictures and videos of her in her holiday outfit - she is the biggest, most precious distraction ever! 

I normally am a very private person and don't share much about my faith via social media, because I feel like that needs to be shared face to face, yet it is heavy on my heart to share today so maybe someone else will feel encouraged . . .

I am feeling so blessed today. Today would have been the first birthday (if born on his/her due date) of our first child that we lost at 14 weeks due to a miscarriage. But today, holding our sweet baby girl, I am reminded of God's goodness and providence. I remember breaking down last Fourth of July and crying in my husband's arms over the reminder of the loss of our first baby on their due date and still having an empty womb despite almost 7 months of trying to get pregnant again. I kept thinking that I should be in labor right now, about to hold our precious little one.  I remember getting teary eyed seeing moms with their children or pregnant women, having to fight envy.  But then I was reminded that nothing is ours, we are fallen sinners, and that we control nothing.  God is sovereign, we are not.  Depraved sinners like me are not in control.  And thank goodness He is in control, not me.  I find great comfort in knowing who God is and that nothing happens outside of His control.  So although this time last year I was discouraged and battling sorrow, I found great hope, joy, peace, and contentment in knowing who God is, His sovereignty, and His goodness.  My greatest joy is Him, not my family, nor nothing else.  And my greatest purpose is not being a mother, but bringing Him glory.

And now, one year later, I sit here holding Grace, who is just unbelievably precious. But even if we were still trying to get pregnant or had lost Grace too, I find so much strength, peace, and comfort knowing that God is sovereign, and He is good. We don't "deserve" anything, yet He redeems. I can't begin to explain what joy, fruit, and growth came out of such loss and sorrow with our miscarriage. God truly works ALL things for our good. It is only by His Grace (why we chose that name for our daughter) that my heart can resoundingly say "The Lord gave, and The Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of The Lord". ~Job 1:21